The question: How can I use breathing to fall asleep when my mind won't stop racing?
The short answer: James Stewart teaches that you aren't broken if you can't fall asleep; you just haven't sent your body the right signal yet. A quiet, balanced breath, low, slow and through the nose, helps move you from an activated state into a relaxed one, and counting or following the breath gives your racing mind a soft place to land.
What James explains
Many people feel exhausted all day, then the moment their head hits the pillow their thoughts switch on. To fall asleep, James explains, the body has to move from an activated, sympathetic dominant state into a relaxed, more parasympathetic dominant state. Breath is one of the most direct ways to send that signal, and James uses it himself and with his clients.
A calm breath also helps with the noise in your head. It gives your mind something to do that is relaxing in itself, and it turns your attention inward to the sensations of breathing. You can count a balanced breath or simply follow the air in through your nose, down into your lungs and back out again. As James puts it, counting isn't about control; it gives your mind a soft place to land.
The tone matters as much as the pattern. James reminds you that breath isn't something you do, it is something you allow. You aren't forcing a huge breath; you are letting a quiet, low breath happen. And better sleep isn't always about sleeping longer. It is about sleeping deeper.
Try it: a balanced bedtime breath
- Lie down and let your breath settle low in your belly, with your shoulders relaxed.
- Breathe in quietly and slowly through your nose for a count of 3, 4 or 5.
- Breathe out for the same count, so the inhale and exhale are balanced (3-3, 4-4 or 5-5).
- If counting feels like effort, follow the air in through your nose, down into your lungs and back out instead.
- Keep allowing the breath rather than forcing it, and let the count give your mind a place to rest.
What to watch for
Don't turn bedtime breathing into another task to get right. James stresses that counting isn't about control, and that the breath should be allowed rather than forced. Trying to breathe as big as possible tends to activate you. If the count starts to feel like work, drop it and simply follow the air in and out.
Key points
- Trouble falling asleep often means your body hasn't yet shifted out of an activated state.
- A balanced breath, low, slow and through the nose, sends a relaxing signal to your body.
- Counting or following the breath gives a racing mind a soft place to land.
Try it tonight: Breathing exercises for sleep, 10 guided sessions from 10 minutes in bed to all-night wind-downs.
Common questions
What breathing pattern should beginners use at bedtime?
James says the easiest place to start is a simple balanced breath: a 3-3, 4-4 or 5-5 count, breathing in and out for the same length, low, slow and through the nose. He also mentions the 4-7-8 pattern as another bedtime option.
What if counting keeps me awake?
You don't have to count. James offers an alternative: follow the air in through your nose, down into your lungs, then use your awareness to follow it back out. The point is to give your mind something calm to focus on, not to control the breath.
Does better sleep mean sleeping longer?
Not always. James reminds viewers that better sleep is about sleeping deeper, not only sleeping longer.
Research mentioned
Eide EM, Hernes HM, Grønli J. Slow breathing techniques before bedtime and the effects on sleep: A systematic review. Sleep Medicine Reviews, 2026;87:102284. Across nine studies and 457 participants, slow breathing before bed improved self-reported sleep duration and quality, while objective measures (actigraphy and polysomnography) were inconclusive; slow breathing influenced both parasympathetic and sympathetic activity. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.smrv.2026.102284
Laborde S, Hosang T, Mosley E, Dosseville F. Influence of a 30-Day Slow-Paced Breathing Intervention Compared to Social Media Use on Subjective Sleep Quality and Cardiac Vagal Activity. Journal of Clinical Medicine, 2019;8(2):193. Compared with a social media control group, 30 days of evening slow-paced breathing improved self-reported sleep quality and raised overnight cardiac vagal activity. https://doi.org/10.3390/jcm8020193
Tsai HJ, Kuo TB, Lee GS, Yang CC. Efficacy of paced breathing for insomnia: enhances vagal activity and improves sleep quality. Psychophysiology, 2015;52(3):388-396. In a small study of people reporting insomnia, 20 minutes of slow, paced breathing before sleep was followed by shorter time to fall asleep, fewer awakenings and better sleep efficiency, alongside heart rate variability changes. https://doi.org/10.1111/psyp.12333
Hopper SI, Murray SL, Ferrara LR, Singleton JK. Effectiveness of diaphragmatic breathing for reducing physiological and psychological stress in adults: a quantitative systematic review. JBI Database of Systematic Reviews and Implementation Reports, 2019;17(9):1855-1876. All three included studies found diaphragmatic breathing reduced stress, though differences between the studies prevented pooling their results. https://doi.org/10.11124/JBISRIR-2017-003848
Read the full transcript
Auto-generated from the video captions, so expect small errors.
So, if you've ever felt really exhausted, but the moment that your head hits that pillow, your mind switches on and those thoughts start racing, you may want to stick around for this next conversation. Well, breath is something that I've been using for a really long time in order to help me get into the optimal space to fall asleep. And it's something that I recommend to my clients all the time. You're not broken if you can't fall asleep. It's really that you haven't sent the right signal to your body. You haven't broken that state that you're in. In order to be able to get to sleep,
we need to be able to get from that activated or sympathetic dominant state into a relaxed or more parasympathetic dominant state. Remember, breath isn't something that you do. It is something that you allow. So, how do I combat that racing mind? How do I quiet that space? Now that my body's got quiet, how do I turn that noise in my mind down? Calming your breaths can be a great way to give your mind something to do that also has a relaxing nature and it gives that interoceptive focus for your mind. So, using a 33, 44, or 5 count. Alternatively, you can also follow the air
in through your nose down into your lungs and then as you exhale using your awareness to follow that air back out. Remember, counting isn't about control, it's about giving your mind a soft place to land. Simple bedtime breathwork patterns to use. You can use a 4-7-8 breathwork pattern. Probably the easiest place to start would be just simply using a balanced breath. So, using a 3-3 or a 4-4 or a 5-5 breath in order to send that relaxing signal to your body. Remember, low slow through the nose ideally keeping that breath just down in your belly. And we're not forcing it. We're allowing it to happen.
If you want to try a well-researched breathwork technique, I've left a link here and it will be something that you can use day after day or night after night in order to get your body to that more optimal space for allowing that sleep to come. And remember, better sleep isn't always about sleeping longer. Better sleep is about sleeping deeper. So, in our next conversation we're going to talk about this crazy subject of mouth taping. How to use it, how it can benefit you, and no, it's not an S&M technique or anything like that, right? So, we'll talk about how it affects you, the pros and
cons of it, and whether it's something you may want to try in order to get some better sleep. Look forward to that conversation.